Category Archives: Life’s Lessons

The SECRET To A Happy Marriage!

The SECRET to a HaPpY Marriage!

Growing up in the 60’s, 70’s and even into the 80’s I knew only a handful of people who were divorced. Today unfortunately, that number is much higher and some are my dearest friends who have been through some really tough stuff. It wasn’t the ending they imagined, but the right ending for a new beginning.

Experience and life has shown me that no marriage or person is perfect, that’s part of the learning and growing process. But to go through life’s challenges with someone you love by your side makes life sweeter.

SooooOooo… you are married or thinking about getting married and want to know….

What’s the SECRET to a HaPpY marriage?

Here’s what I have seen and experienced to be the REAL secret behind a happy marriage…

Marriage is a two-way partnership consisiting of respect, love, integrity, loyalty, honesty, forgiveness, compassion, empathy, trust, communication and commitment!

If any of those virtues are lacking, relationships suffers – some beyond repair.

“Marriage is not for wimps or the selfish.  Marriage is not 50 – 50.  Marriage is 100 – 100.”  

I married a man that had all the qualities on my “must have list” and I was confident that we would work through any challenges that came our way.  And guess what? I was RIGHT! It hasn’t been smooth sailing, but so far we are 100% in getting through the challenges that life brings, including raising 7 children.  And that is something to celebrate!  

September 22 (2014) is our 31st wedding anniversary. I am grateful to have a man that loves me, adores me and gives 100% to not only our marriage, but to everything that he does.  He’s not perfect, I’m not perfect, but we are perfect at being committed to each other – perfect at getting through the tough stuff, and perfect at trying to DO better and BE better everyday.

Thank you Scott Mackintosh for thinking that girl you bumped into on the dance floor of  Frisco Bay 31 years ago was worth pursuing!   I’m that lucky girl – I’m married to not only the BEST.DAD.EVER, but I’m married to the BEST.HUSBAND.EVER.

There you have it!  The SECRET to a HaPpY Marriage is Respect, Love, Integrity, Loyalty, Honesty, Forgiveness, Compassion, Empathy, Trust, Communication and Commitment!

WAIT!  There’s one more thing…

Make each other smile and laugh. Everyday!

 

 

me & scott

Happy Anniversary Scotty Mack:) 

Healing Hearts Saving Lives

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Healing Hearts Saving Lives

In 2012, our 24 year-old son told his father and I that he was gay.  After keeping it secret for two years, we chose to go public in hope of letting others know they are not alone. Within days of posting our video and article, we were inundated with messages and emails from people across the nation with a son, daughter, brother, sister, or who themselves are same-gender attracted – sharing their stories, their hurt and their desire for a better tomorrow.

This experience opened my eyes to the masses that are hurting and contemplating suicide, families that feel broken, and hearts that need to heal.

The nagging thought “What can I do?” lead to creating a website dedicated to “Enlighten Minds, Strengthen Families and Heal the Wounded Heart”.  The things that you will find on the Healing Hearts Saving Lives website stem from the many questions people have asked seeking guidance, love and support.

www.HealingHeartsSavingLives.com 

 

Update: Today was the funeral of Mikey Funk, a young man from Logan, Utah who took his life on Sunday who battled same-gender attraction.  And when I say “battled” I’m referring to the judgement, the isolation and hatred that so many deal with on a daily basis. It was hearing too many stories like Mikey’s that lead me to try to make a difference. If something I share can enlighten one mind, strengthen one family, heal one heart, then I’ve made a difference in one. And that ONE is important to God.

 

Christ on a Bench

 

 

Be Real. Be Authentic.

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Be Real. Be Authentic.

If you follow my blog or follow me on Facebook, Pintrest or Twitter  you know I’m pretty much an open book and I’m comfortable talking about REAL life challenges.  What I’ve discovered by being REAL and AUTHENTIC is that others who are going through the same or similar challenges know they are not alone.

I understand it can be scary to be vulnerable, my stomach ached for days before I pushed the publish button to share my story of having a gay son and my motherly plea to the world to reinvest in kindness.  Even though my son and I felt it was time and the right thing to do – I was still fearful of how the public would react to my son’s vulnerability.  To our surprise we were inundated with positive emails, messages and phone calls along with a long stream of comments beneath the many social media shares.  It has been a wonderful experience connecting with people around the world because of that ONE post.  It opened the door to being  invited to speak at several large LGBT conferences – hundreds have thanked us for helping them see things in a different perspective.  It has been rewarding to see hearts healing, families reuniting and lives being saved.

What I have experienced and seen is that when people are real and authentic about their fears and challenges it helps others know they are not alone. 

I’m not a blogger that targets a certain audience or has a certain theme.  I’m kind of all over the place just as my blog title states,”Becky Mack’s Blog of Mild Chaos”  I post about Family, Fun, Travels, Teens and DrEaMs!  …..CHAOTIC  just like REAL life!

If you follow me you have been exposed to my travels to India, the ups and downs of career changes,  my love for God and family, the JOYS and CHALLENGES of parenting, my love for people of all nationalities and religions,  the surprise of  GOING VIRAL and everything from battling depression, to meeting incredibly inspiring people, to becoming an author and member of the NSA (National Speakers Association) and now SPEAKING. And last, but certainly not least, the wonderful journey of having a gay son and all THAT has taught me about people, compassion, love, empathy, tolerance and intolerance.

I don’t post, follow or support people or organizations who seem to thrive on being rude, bash political or religious beliefs or who pretty much have a NEGATIVE attitude about life.  Life is challenging enough on it’s own without having others bring you down.

Life is too fragile and too short to wallow in misery.

I like to look for the rose amidst the thorns, and one thing I’m certain about is that we ALL experience thorns …everyone has challenges!  CHEERS to those who in spite of their challenges focus on the ROSE, and CHEERS to those who rally around and support one another, boost one another and love one another.  That’s what life is really about… Serving others.

Life’s a roller coaster – CHOOSE to be HaPpY!

Becky Mack’s Life Lesson:  Attitude is everything. Be REAL. Be AUTHENTIC and you just may discover that the friend you thought had the perfect life has challenges too.

The Meanest Mother In The World

I had the meanest mother in the world …

As a teenager I was asked to give talk in church on Mother’s Day.  I remember rummaging through a book of poems and short stories (this was long before the internet and “google”) and coming across one that described my mother perfectly. With a few minor changes the story became ‘my story’.

“The Meanest Mother”

I have the meanest mother in the whole world.  While other kids ate candy for breakfast, I had to have cereal, eggs or toast. When others had soda and candy for lunch, I had to eat a sandwich.  As you can guess, dinner was also different than the other kids. But at least, I wasn’t alone in my sufferings.  My two sisters and two brothers had the same mean mother as I did.

My mother insisted upon knowing where we were at ALL times.   You’d think we were on a chain gang.  She had to know who our friends were and where we were going.  She insisted if we said we’d be gone an hour, that we be gone one hour or less–not one hour and one minute.

I am embarrassed to admit it, but she actually spanked us.  Not once, but each time we had a mind of our own and did as we pleased.   Can you imagine someone actually spanking a child just because he disobeyed?  Now you can begin to see how mean she really was.

We had to wear clean clothes and take a bath. The other kids could wear their  clothes for days.  We reached the height of insults because she often made our clothes herself, just to save money.  

The worst is yet to come.  We had to be in bed by nine each night and up early the next morning.  We couldn’t sleep ’til noon like our friends.  So while they slept-my-mother actually had the nerve to break the child-labor law.  She made us WORK!  We washed dishes, made our beds, learned to cook and all sorts of cruel things.  

I believe she laid awake at night thinking up mean things to do to us.

She always insisted upon us telling the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, even if it killed us-and sometimes it nearly did.

By the time we were teenagers, she was  much wiser, and our life became even more unbearable.  None of this tooting the horn of a car for us to come running.  She embarrassed us to no end by making our dates and friends come to the door to get us.  While my friends were dating at the mature age of 13 or 14, my old fashioned mother refused to let me date until I was 16.

Through the years, things didn’t improve a bit.  We were expected to be honest, dependable, trustworthy and kind to others. As the years rolled by, first one and then the other of us was put to shame.  We graduated from high school and went on to further our education.                                              

     My mother was a complete failure as a mother. 

Each of my siblings went on to marry and raise children in the same horrible conditions.  And whom do we have to blame for the terrible way we turned out?  You’re right, our mean mother!  Look at the things we missed; we never got to march in a protest parade, take part in a riot, burn draft cards, and a million and one other things that our friends did.                                                                                                                                                                                               

She forced us to grow up with a testimony of a loving Heavenly Father and to know our Savior Jesus Christ.  She taught us the power of prayer.  She taught us the importance of families and to love and serve and love one another.                           

NOW YEARS LATER ….

I confess!  I have raised my seven children in the same MEAN way that my mother raised me.  Six of my children have graduated from High School, the youngest at home is on track to do the same.  Three have their bachelors degrees, two daughters have their cosmetology license. (they keep my gray hairs covered)  Four are married and are raising their children in the same mean way.  

Thank you mom for smothering me with your love and most of all for your example of  living life with integrity,  dignity and for the courage to teach morals and values that I pray  will carry on for generations to come.

THANK YOU MOM for being the meanest mother in the whole world!                                                                                                 

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This blog post is dedicated to my mother, who I love with all my heart.  I owe who I am today to her.  She passed away March 12, 2014.  Until we meet again mom.  I Love You!