Author Archives: Becky

Rock Your Resolutions – Acai Style

HaPpY 2017!

It’s been a year since my last blog. Perhaps you hadn’t noticed, because your life is as busy as mine. For the record, I thought of you often and I have a lot to catch you up on. Here’s the reader’s digest version; My husband Scott and I became empty nesters and moved from our home of 17 years.  I went on a two-week humanitarian trip to Kenya with 100Humanitarians to lift, love and serve on the Mara and was forever changed. I contributed to two anthology books; A Place of Love and Success Through Failing.  I got a few more gray hairs AND my husband and I started a weekly podcast called Life in 22 Minutes where we invite special guests on our show who share stories that inspire, bring hope and put a smile on your face in 22 Minutes. AND the best part of 2016 – my grandchild count increased to 8.

What’s next? Lots! I have big plans for 2017. You do too, right? One of my top goals is to eat healthier, drink more water, exercise and to get more sleep so that I will have more energy to play with my grandkids AND to slow down that dang-aging-thing that keeps trying to creep up on me now that I’m over 50.

Did you know that every year the top two new year’s resolutions made are to “get fit” and to “lose weight” and by January 17, most Americans will have lapsed or slipped? But according to professor of psychology, John C. Norcross, a slip need not be a fail! Yes, you read that right. You have not failed!

In fact, Norcross’s research shows that 71% of diligent goal setters say their first slip actually strengthened their efforts, renewing their inspiration to achieve their goals. So don’t just give up till next year.

Here’s three tips to  Rock Your Resolutions and successfully reach your health goals.

1) Be clear on your why behind your goal. If the real reason you want to eat healthier is because you want to have more energy to play with your kids, or grandkids in my case, then remind yourself of that often. When you’re clear about what you’re aiming for, you have a greater incentive to make the necessary changes to achieve your objective.

2) Be positive about small successes. There’s a lot of self-blame around ditching a New Year’s resolution. No one is perfect, give yourself permission to reprioritize and re-evaluate as needed. Celebrating small successes helps to keep you moving forward.

3) Create fond memories with your family.  Have you ever stopped to think that from the day your child is born, you have only 18 summers with them? Then they are gone! And let me tell you it goes fast! Remember your last summer how fast it came and went? That’s exactly what I’m talking about.

To walk the talk and rock my resolutions, on January 17, the very day professor John C. Norcross said most people lapse, I sent my children and grandchildren a text asking them to meet their father and I for dinner – our treat!  I’ve been wanting to try out the much talked about acai bowl, smoothie and juice bar, about a 30-minute drive from our home, called Bowl of Heaven.

Scott and I were the first to arrive and was greeted by an adorable worker named Maddi. As I scanned the menu above Maddi’s head, I warned her that my large family would be arriving soon and told her we were newbies to Bowl of Heaven and asked for suggestions.  She rattled off her top 4 favorite bowls along with their nutritional value and pointed out the extra toppings available.  I asked for samples, thinking that would help me decide which one to order, but the opposite occurred, it made it harder to pick just one, each was so good with their own unique combination of flavors.

Scott is very carbs conscious and asked Maddi so many questions that she pulled out a folder with pictures and facts for us to browse through. We read the benefits of acai and the MAQ 7 exotic juice – no wonder everyone is talking about it – even Oprah! Acai is a super fruit high in antioxidants and essential fats.  It looks and tastes like a treat, but is actually a full blown meal that is only 500 calories. WoOt! WoOt!

The family came, ate, laughed and created a fond memory with a two thumbs up for the Bowl of Heaven. If you live in California, Utah or Wisconsin I highly recommend trying an acai bowl, a little bit of heaven in a bowl.

pssst…. make sure you try the Ginger Shot!  It’s lip-smacking delicious.  HaPpY Rockin’ your Resolutions.

 

Becky with white teeth

The Paradise!

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A little bit of heaven in a bowl.

Why The Tears?

I wrote this article for Northern Lights, another blog site in which I contribute monthly, but I want to also share it with you, my readers at Becky Mack’s Blog of Mild Chaos.

Why the tears

A flood of questions raced through my head as I read my son’s words, “I’m gay“. What did I do wrong? What could I have done differently? Who did this to him? How can I fix him? What will others think?

That very first night as I sat with my son on the couch and listened, really listened, trying to make sense of what I was hearing, I felt his pain, his sorrow and his hope for a better tomorrow. I told him I loved him and that my love would never change. I shared what I thought were words of comfort and hope, not realizing they were really daggers in my son’s heart. They were things he already knew – he’d heard them a hundred times growing up – this night he needed me to listen and to love him the same as I did yesterday.

I wish I could say it was easy and natural for me to just listen and love, but it took awhile to figure those two things out. I thought I was listening and I thought I was loving, but as time went on I learned I could do better, much better. I am grateful for my patient son. He cried a lot and I didn’t know why. I was telling him I loved him, so why the tears?

Recently, I came across an email that I sent my son early on in our journey, it was filled with scriptures and quotes from church leaders that I was certain would bring him comfort and help him get back on track. This time I read the words with new eyes and a new perspective.

Now, I understood his tears.

I was focused on fixing my son verses loving him. When I changed my focus to loving him, REALLY loving him, mingled with lots of listening, REALLY listening, things changed. Our relationship improved. The tears stopped.

What I learned from my son…

As I reflect back on my journey the last four years, I can see the many things God taught me through my son. He answered my prayers the only way a loving Heavenly Father could do. As I turned to Him for understanding, guidance and answers, He gave me more to learn and more reasons to lean on him and to trust him. He stretched my faith in ways I never thought possible or thought I needed. He taught me what it really means to have compassion, empathy, charity and love unfeigned. He taught me that if I focused on the positive and approached difficult situations – every situation – from a place of love I would see beauty and wonder instead of disaster.

Love is the answer – love is also the question.

No one is perfect, but we can be perfect at trying to be perfectly kind, perfectly loving – and always responding from a place of love. As I have opened my heart and arms wider than I ever thought possible – my heart has grown a hundred fold.

Love – is – a – choice. It is the choice.

A Message of Love from a Mom

It’s been brought to my attention that my blog posts have been sporadic and it’s time for me to kick it into gear.  Yes, life often gets in the way of carving out time to blog, and for that, I apologize. First it was the shorty-shorts that turned our life upside down. Then the coming out video and post of me and my son brought on a different kind of busyness, AND  that is what leads me to my post today; “A Message of Love from a Mom” me – Becky Mack 🙂 …

Though I don’t get much sleep, I wouldn’t trade my circumstances for anything in the world. It is comforting to know that people around the globe feel I am a safe place to reach out to, someone who will listen without judgement and will love without conditions – it’s worth the sleepless nights.

I pray someday the emails stop, the personal meets ups and phone calls end, NOT because I’m worn out, but because every person on the planet feels LOVED, SAFE, RESPECTED, ACCEPTED and VALUED for who they are and the diversity they bring – No more fear of REJECTION from family, church, school and community.

If you are feeling grateful that your life is *LGBT/SSA free, it’s perhaps because you have NOT created a safe environment for them to tell you. They listen to your conversations, lectures, unkind jokes and remarks and choose to remain silent. They know your goals, hopes and dreams and they don’t want to disappoint you, so they stay quiet.

Many closeted LGBT/SSA reach out to me confiding their pain, anxiety, depression and self harming habits. Many confess they turn to pills or alcohol to numb the pain. They plead “I just want to be normal”.  They pray for God to take this away and sadly, too often they reach a point where they are angry with God for unanswered prayers.

PARENTS, if your child tells you they are gay or same-sex attracted or think they might be gay or whatever terminology they use, it’s not the end of the world!  It’s the beginning of a time to refine and strengthen your Christlike attributes such as; compassion, empathy, charity and love unfeigned. It’s a time to exercise faith and to CHOOSE to believe in a God who meant what He said, “Love one another as I have loved you.” Lean on Him for guidance and understanding. It’s an opportunity to strengthen your relationship with your child by simply loving unconditionally even if they choose differently than you would. Especially if they choose differently than you would.

By opening your heart and arms, you will discover some of the most incredible, talented, gifted and caring people on the planet.  The answer is simple – LOVE!

*LGBT/SSA = Lesbian, Gay, Bi-Sexual, Trangender / Same Sex Attraction

P.S.  To hear my husband Scott and I share our  journey with our son, go to Voices of Hope.  Please share with anyone you feel would benefit.

A Miracle Happened Today

A miracle happened today! …actually it happened on Saturday – sharing it today.

Saturday evening members of my family were reluctantly, disguised as eagerly, helping me get the house and food ready for a large gathering to be held the next day in our home following my youngest son and child’s mission farewell held at our church. (He has been called to serve a two-year mission for the Church Of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints in the New York New York North Mission Spanish speaking)

It was about 8:30pm I had two large pots of boiling water on the stove cooking pasta. My handyman husband Scott was under the kitchen sink taking apart the disposal to figure out why water was leaking out all over the floor. My grown married children were vacuuming, setting up tables and chairs out on the patio with a lot of laughing, talking and enjoying each other’s company.

Water from the pot on the back burner started boiling over onto the stove top which often happens when I cook with the colandar inside the pot.  I had a dumb idea that I began to execute – I lifted the colander to pour the pasta into the pan to continue cooking – next thing I knew the pot of boiling water was pouring down the front of me drenching my stomach and legs down to my knees… I immediately felt the intense heat and knew I was in trouble.  In a somewhat panicked voice, yet calm, I said, “I just burned myself”  as I grabbed hold of my pant legs to pull the hot fabric away from my skin.  I headed straight for the bathroom and into the shower fully clothed and turned on the cold water – immediately a very distinct voice said “your *garments saved you”.

I went upstairs to my bedroom to assess the damage to my throbbing stomach and legs – I looked like a pink lobster! I sat in the tub with cool water pouring onto my legs for about 30 seconds (yes only 30 seconds – too much to get done downstairs)  I then rubbed  DoTerra Lavender Essential Oil over the burnt area, dressed, knelt giving thanks to my Heavenly Father and resumed position in my kitchen.

My husband and children were very concerned, each voicing their strong opinion, how I should be treating my wound which did NOT include my personal choice of  picking up where I left off.  I assured them I was okay – I shared with them the voice I had heard in the shower and the peace that had come over me. I knew I had been protected and would be okay.  The slight burning sensation continued for about another hour on a small area of my stomach and upper right leg – I continued to apply the Lavender oil.  By 1:30 a.m.  I finished everything on my to-do list and retired to bed finding only two small burn marks on my stomach and a few marks on my leg – the only evidence of what had happened.

I’m feeling very blessed for how this event played out – very different than what it could have been.

P.S. My son’s talk was EXCEPTIONAL – he is very ready to serve the Lord and for all the right reasons. #proudmom

*Just as many observant people around the world wear religiously significant items of clothing to signify their relationship with God, Mormons too wear emblematic garments to remind them of covenants made in the temple. (mormons.org)