This is the REAL story behind the short-shorts! By Scott Mackintosh.
I did something spontaneous a week ago today. I am shocked how fast things can spread via social media. And even more surprised how fast the story has changed in just ONE week. Within 24 hours of my wife and children posting THIS photo ….
we were being told it had gone viral. My kids were using terms an old dad like me is not familiar with, such as; 70,000 reposts on tumblr, favorited on twitter, re-tweated, shared etc… Friends were reporting they were seeing it posted on Buzzfeed, Redneck sites and other random sites, most have the story a bit twisted, so to set the record straight…..
This is the REAL story behind the short-shorts!
I know the world has varying degrees of what is modest and what is not when it comes to clothing. In our family we have pretty definite modesty guidelines; No midriffs or low-cut shirts, no short-shorts, short skirts and we even go as far as saying no sleeveless shirts unless playing sports or on the beach. Having raised four daughters and three sons, I’m a bit protective. Some may call me old fashion, but I call it “A Dad who loves his daughters” (and sons too) I know some of you may be rolling your eyes and that’s okay, my daughter does it all the time.
I’m a firm believer that the way we dress sends messages about us, and it influences the way we and others act. (okay okay – I’m the first to admit I look like a redneck and I may say “crick” instead of “creek”) But that’s beside the point. My teenage daughter day after day continues to wear clothing that I, as her father, feel is inappropriate and immodest. Her mother and I feel the same about the importance of dressing modest. With that said, let’s move onto the night of the happening …….
In an effort to try to spend time with just the family we reserve our Monday evenings for just that. On this particular Monday, we decided to go out to eat (something we had not done in a very long time) and made plans for after dinner to use our pass-of-all passes to go miniature golfing at Trafalga, a nearby “fun center”. I heard my wife ask our daughter if she would please change into some longer shorts before leaving. She said “NO!” Instead of turning her response and disrespectful attitude into a major battle, I decided to make a small statement on how her short-shorts maybe aren’t as “cute” as she thinks!
I ran into my bedroom as the family was loading into the car. I grabbed some scissors and cut some old worn out pants into a set of short-shorts with the ends of the pockets hanging out the bottom. There was only about an inch of material below the crotch of the shorts. To add frosting to the cake, I looked down and noticed a shirt that my older daughter had given me for Father’s Day. At the time I thought “where the heck would I ever wear this?” Wow! I just found the perfect moment! I was a bit worried about going through with this, but felt that it was “OKAY” to make this statement in the privacy of our own home. I was certain that when my daughter saw me, that would be as far as it would have to go to make the point.
As I walked out to the car I could see my daughter and my son in the back seat with their heads down focused on their phones…needless to say they didn’t even notice. I stood by the open driver’s side door for a minute and even spoke to them, but their faces stayed focused on their phones, they didn’t even glance up. They had no clue of how I was dressed. I then walked about 50 feet in front of the car to meet my wife as she was walking back from feeding our animals. Why was my wife feeding the animals when our kids that should be doing it? It was her plan to give me time to walk around to let my daughter notice me, and we would THEN both go into the house to change and be on our way. THAT was what we THOUGHT was going to happen!
My wife said, “What did they think?” I told her that they hadn’t even noticed, but I was certain they had by now. As I returned to the car, it was evident that their faces were still glued to their phones and had no idea of the spectacle that stood before them. Well, I had a decision to make. This little plotted scheme did not get noticed, therefore my thinking that this would end at home, quickly changed to… “I guess we’re taking it to the road now.”
As we were driving and nearly to the Hibachi House restaurant, I heard a camera sound. I looked to see what had just happened at the same time that my wife was being addressed by my children saying; “Why are you taking a picture of Dad?” Immediately my son said “Oh my gosh, look at dad!” My daughter who was in the back seat was unable to see what the fuss was all about UNTIL we arrived at the restaurant and I stepped out of the car.
My daughter gave me a disgusted look and said, “Why are you dressed like that?” I replied, “Apparently short-shorts are pretty darn cute, so let’s go.” She quickly added in a semi-horrified voice, “Oh, I don’t care, it’s you that’s going to be embarrassed.”
As we entered the restaurant we were greeted by many funny looking stares from a slightly small crowd. “Wow, at least it is a small group that I am making a fool of myself in front of” I thought. Then realized we knew two of the people. They laughed and said they couldn’t wait to tell our son-in-law what they had just seen. I gave a quick explanation. They laughed. My son, daughter and wife took a couple of pictures and posted them to social media. We ate dinner and it wasn’t a big deal.
My daughter didn’t seem to care however like I had hoped she would, so the question to myself was, “Do I let it fail or take it to the next level?” Take it to the next level of course!
“OK, let’s go miniature golfing” I said. The family laughed that I might just go through with that we had planned to do before dressing like a spectacle.
As we arrived to the small amusement park, we were met with many stares and pointing fingers as I walked through the lobby and to the miniature golf area. I tried to keep up with my daughter who had expressed that it didn’t bother her, but was not about to let me stay very close to her as we walked through the crowded room. Once we got our clubs and were waiting in line for our turn to start, a couple of girls were “acting” like one was taking a picture of the other when in fact they were lining themselves up for a “Kodak Moment” …of Me! My daughter then being bold said, “If you want a picture of him, just ask, I am sure he won’t mind.” They were embarrassed and continued to act like that wasn’t what they were doing.
Amongst all of the pointing and strange looks, we had a wonderful night of miniature golf and then headed for Artic Circle for milk shakes. As I pulled into a stall, my daughter said, “Uh, no! We are NOT going in!” I said “Sure we are, let’s go!” “No!” She said, “Let’s go through the drive up.” We went in, but she stayed in the car. She had had enough and did not want to go through any further embarrassment.
There was no “Dad I get it” or “Dad you’re the best…. thanks for that awesome lesson.” I don’t think my object lesson of “modest is hottest” made the statement I had intended, but no matter if social media gets the story mixed up and out of sorts, my daughter will always know that her dad loves her and cares about her enough to make a fool out of himself to make a point.
UPDATE 9/5/13: KSL News picked up the story and interviewed Scott LIVE on Browser 5.0. Click here to watch the news segment.
My daughter Kelsey made this video that shows WHAT HAPPENED NEXT!
And click HERE to watch the many TV interviews – Going Viral!
Scott you are awesome. I will use your story as a lesson to much younger daughters. But same feeling, love them.
Thank you Alan! I would love to stay connected, if you haven’t already done so please fill out the opt in box for my upcoming “Life’s Lessons” forum….Love to have you share some of your parenting experiences in helping this generation raise the bar. All the best. ~Becky (Scott says thank you too!)
It’s Brilliant. We daughters can be mighty stubborn but such things are not lost on us no matter how much we protest and protect our pride.
Thank you Mary Ellen. Your comment made me laugh. It’s so true. I would love to stay connected, if you haven’t already done so please fill out the opt in box for my upcoming “Life’s Lessons” forum….Love to have you share some of your parenting experiences in helping this generation raise the bar. All the best. ~Becky
I think this is fantastic and I love that modesty is something you are trying to teach your children. It is a concept that for far too long has been lost! You are my hero!
Thank you Heather for taking the time to read our story and leave a comment. I agree. I would love to stay connected, if you haven’t already done so please fill out the opt in box for my upcoming “Life’s Lessons” forum….Love to have you share some of your parenting experiences in helping this generation raise the bar. All the best. ~Becky
That is so cool. This is a lesson we struggle with at our house as my step daughters deal with mixed messages from society and even their mother, with whom the spend the bulk of the year, that conflict with what we teach and believe in our home. I really hope this lesson sinks in for your daughter soon. It’s very cool that you were willing to do this.
Thank you Davina for taking the time to read our story and leave a comment. I would love to stay connected, if you haven’t already done so please fill out the opt in box for my upcoming “Life’s Lessons” forum….Love to have you share some of your parenting experiences in helping this generation raise the bar. All the best. ~Becky
Best dad ever! I wish my dad loved me that much as a teen!!!
You are the Best Dad Ever, and you have great legs. Keep fighting the Good Fight.
You are awesome!
I agree with you completely!!! My children are grown but I see it everyday. To short shorts look terrible. And ill never understand why young girls want their boobs hanging out. But most of all don’t understand the parents that let them walk around like that. If parents are providing anything for the child, there are punishments they can hand out. Same for guys with their pants down to their knees.
Sweet.
Love it! You are a great Dad!
Way to go Scott! Keep up the good work. You have an awesome family, it shows you invested a lot of time and love into it. This being just another one of those investments on your part!
She will remember that dad cared enough to go all the way with his visual lesson just for her.
I think it’s fantastic! Of course quite a bit of those lessons don’t truly get absorbed right away but good for you for doing it anyway! Hold your head high you are a fantastic dad (and mom)
The long and short of it is I LOVE what you did. It will never be forgotten by your daughter, I’m sure!
Nice legs!!
So awesome! I have a little baby daughter…. I hope we are as cool as you when she gets too big for her britches 🙂 God Bless!
Thank you! enJOY that little one…they grow up so fast! We would love to stay connected, if you haven’t already done so please fill out the opt in box for my upcoming “Life’s Lessons” forum …Love to have you share some of your parenting experiences in helping this generation raise the bar. All the best. ~Becky and Scott too!
“The best laid plans…”
This really doesn’t change my opinion or my choice in attire. By trying to force a mindset on your children, you are taking away their agency. I disagree with what you did. If a man or woman has a problem or is provoked by the way I am dressed, I should not feel ashamed of what I am wearing. The reactions others have to what I look like are of their own choice and opinion.
A truly selfish answer. How can raising a child’s awareness about something being inappropriate be considered taking something away from them?
This man should be commended for his resourcefulness in teaching a life’s lesson without having to resort to direct conflict.
Gabrielle: (shaking head) Yes, they have their agency. But it’s our responsibility as parents to TEACH them and enforce guidelines. Then when they’re 18, they can make all the decisions for themselves that they want! You forget the kids’ frontal lobe in their brains isn’t fully formed yet.
She is a 19 yr old woman so Gaby is correct.
Thank you SO MUCH for your quick thinking! I completely agree with you and as the mother of 5 girls, last one is almost a teenager, I appreciate you. And, please believe me when I say you do not look like a fool! You are my hero because there are not enough people in this world who will stand up! My girls have all seen this and my husband is grateful they appreciate this lesson from you without him having to dress in his short shorts! They see that we are not the only “old” parents.
Hi Rhonda! Love your comment. Thank you! We would love to stay connected, if you haven’t already done so please fill out the opt in box for my upcoming “Life’s Lessons” forum …Love to have you share some of your parenting experiences in helping this generation raise the bar. All the best. ~Becky ….and Scott too!
You are a genius! And there are some parts of that story that sound vaguely familiar. Your wife fed the animals while your teenagers sat in the car and started at their phones? No where have I heard that before…
Thank you Bodie! Yes, life is a journey when it comes to raising kids. Love every stage! We would love to stay connected, if you haven’t already done so please fill out the opt in box for my upcoming “Life’s Lessons” forum …Love to have you share some of your parenting experiences in helping this generation raise the bar. All the best. ~Becky and Scott too!
Good job!! 🙂 You are awesome!!
Thanks Ame! We would love to stay connected, if you haven’t already done so please fill out the opt in box for my upcoming “Life’s Lessons” forum …Love to have you share some of your parenting experiences in helping this generation raise the bar. All the best. ~Becky and Scott too!
My mom did a similar thing with my younger sister. One night she put on one of my sisters very tight, very revealing shirts and was wearing it around. My sister got the point of how silly and inappropriate it really was. She changed how she dressed after that. I love parents who aren’t afraid to teach their kids correct standards!!!
Oh I LOVE your mom! Too funny! We would love to stay connected, if you haven’t already done so please fill out the opt in box for my upcoming “Life’s Lessons” forum …Love to have you share some of your parenting experiences in helping this generation raise the bar. All the best. ~Becky and Scott too!
My husband has been threatening to do this for ages. Good for you for going through with it. Hopefully, even if she doesn’t say it, your daughter got the point.
My husband has been threatening to do this for ages. Good for you for going through with it. Hopefully, even if she doesn’t say it, your daughter got the point.
Hi Cindy! Thank you for your comment. We would love to stay connected, if you haven’t already done so please fill out the opt in box for my upcoming “Life’s Lessons” forum …Love to have you share some of your parenting experiences in helping this generation raise the bar. All the best. ~Becky and Scott too!
I love it!! Way to go, Scott!!
Hi Lindsay! You do know you are one of my favorite people AND hope your leg is feeling healing well! We would love to stay connected, if you haven’t already done so please fill out the opt in box for my upcoming “Life’s Lessons” forum …Love to have you share some of your parenting experiences in helping this generation raise the bar. All the best. ~Becky and Scott too!
You are a fabulous dad!!!
You are soooooooo GREAT!!!! Love your parenting!!! AWESOME!
Thanks Ruth Ann! You are sooooOoooo GREAT for taking the time to read and share your thought! We would love to stay connected, if you haven’t already done so please fill out the opt in box for my upcoming “Life’s Lessons” forum …Love to have you share some of your parenting experiences in helping this generation raise the bar. All the best. ~Becky and Scott too!
This was fantastic. Nothing like a little humor to handle a teaching opportunity.
Hi Cynthia! Thanks for taking the time to comment. We would love to stay connected, if you haven’t already done so please fill out the opt in box for my upcoming “Life’s Lessons” forum …Love to have you share some of your parenting experiences in helping this generation raise the bar. All the best. ~Becky and Scott too!
Mom said she had seen an awesome photo of you but she didn’t tell me just how awesome. What a great Dad you are!
Hi Kelly…we miss your family. Saw your parents at the rodeo this summer. Hope you are well. I would love to stay connected, if you haven’t already done so please fill out the opt in box for my upcoming “Life’s Lessons” forum …Love to have you share some of your parenting experiences in helping this generation raise the bar. All the best. ~Becky and Scott too!
You are an awesome dad! I guarantee that no matter how blase’ your daughter was about it, that little lesson is definitely going to stick with her. You are so brave!
Thank you Tara for taking the time to share your thoughts. I would love to stay connected, if you haven’t already done so please fill out the opt in box for my upcoming “Life’s Lessons” forum….Love to have you share some of your parenting experiences in helping this generation raise the bar. All the best. ~Becky and Scott too!
My hat goes off to you! Great lesson!! Wish my dad loved me that way when I was her age! You are doing the right thing – I pray one day she will realize it!
Thank you Nikki! I would love to stay connected, if you haven’t already done so please fill out the opt in box for my upcoming “Life’s Lessons” forum….Love to have you share some of your parenting experiences in helping this generation raise the bar. All the best. ~Becky and Scott too!
I’ve seen shorts like this on girls as young as 8 I think. What are parents thinking? Some is “they are just kids.” I say they are creating “predator bait.” Good lesson, Dad!
Good work! Modest is hottest!
Ever since I saw the pictures for the first time. I thought you deserved kudos. I think even more so now that I read your whole story. 🙂 Thank you for sharing. (And I bet she learned more than she let on.)
Good onya for following through with this and thanks for sharing it with us. This story is PERFECT for my Sunday School lesson tomorrow.
Cheers
As a mid teenage girl with a bit of a thing for modesty, I gotta say that I totally wish a few more people would get their senses together and get the lesson you’re trying to teach. I wouldn’t go so far as to say that I wouldn’t have avoided my dad if he had done the same thing, (I would absolutely have been embarrassed and stayed in the car all night.) but your point is great,sir.
Good job. You know, when she disrespected you and said “NO”, you could have yanked that phone out of her hand, turned it off and reminded her that you were the parent and punished her and I bet that would have done a better job; however, that probably wouldn’t have gone “viral”.
Chris, are you a parent of teenage daughters? The response you suggest would be effective, all right. Effectively making her angry and more likely to rebel. When you push, kids will push back. When you lead by example, and maybe an extreme example, will get the message across much better than an iron fist. And yes, I have raised daughters, and sons, who know and respect the standards with which I raised them.
As one who was recently a teenager this attitude of be gentle and everyone is a winner is garbage. I honestly believe it is what is ruining my generation. Participation trophies for failing and congratulations for a horrible effort? If this is supposed to boost my self esteem and help me make it through life please show me a place that will pay me for believing i’m the greatest thing on earth no matter what evidence there is to the contrary.
I agree you can’t rule with an iron first all the time. That said if I was ever foolish enough to out right disobey and refuse something I was told to do I was reminded who was the parent.Did it make me angry, short run yes but it also gave me a respect for authority that has served me well. Also when my parents led by example I followed not because I thought they were cool or my best buddy but because I respected them.
Thanks for sharing your story. I am the father of a young little girl and this was a good reminder for me to make sure I teach my children good values, morals etc. I hope and pray, someday, your daughter will realize just how much you love her and that you care about her.
Nice scott you are funny good dad.
This is so awesome! You are a great dad!
Good for you Dad! Sometimes we have to go out on a limb to try and teach our youth Gospel Principles. How would our children react if the Saviour of the World showed up dressed in such an attire? Of course, we all know the world would never take Him seriously, which is the point. How is anyone to take our children or ourselves seriously if we don’t dress the part. We are Sons and Daughters of a Heavenly Father, who loves us, and asks us to do our part in bringing forth His Kingdom on earth. Dressing modestly shows our commitment in the “FAMILY” business of Saving Souls. BRAVO.
Even though it took alot of guts to do what you did, the lesson will be a good one for the rest of her life and others to come. Thank You for doing what you did.
Thank you for making a statement! I have daughters myself and it’s hard to find modest clothes for them, so I appreciate the fact that I’m not alone in this!
Modest is the hottest. Tell your daughter that coming from a young women herself, (me), I know she would rather have a guy like her for her personality than if how hot he thinks she is.
I lived in Utah for a few years, but am orginally from Buffalo, NY. What I was impressed with about modest dress was that it was not “weird church frumpy” like we would see up North. It was hip, fashionable, and you could still see how absolutely lovely the young women truly are.
Thank you Trish! We would love to stay connected, if you haven’t already done so please fill out the opt in box for my upcoming “Life’s Lessons” forum …Love to have you share some of your parenting experiences in helping this generation raise the bar. All the best. ~Becky and Scott too!
You rock. You are doing this parenting thing right!!!
Thank you Amy! We would love to stay connected, if you haven’t already done so please fill out the opt in box for my upcoming “Life’s Lessons” forum …Love to have you share some of your parenting experiences in helping this generation raise the bar. All the best. ~Becky and Scott too!
Only you Scott, that is so awesome.
I had thought of doing this very same thing -from going so scruffy to make a point – to the short of short. I didn’t have your courage but wish I had. You are a great Dad.
Hi Therese! If you ever do something like that I want to hear about it! We would love to stay connected, if you haven’t already done so please fill out the opt in box for my upcoming “Life’s Lessons” forum …Love to have you share some of your parenting experiences in helping this generation raise the bar. All the best. ~Becky and Scott too!
No offense but just wondering who bought your daughter (or let her keep after she did) the immodest short shorts? This was funny but wouldn’t prevention have saved you from cutting up a pair of pants? 😉
Wish it was as simple as that. She is 19 and buys her own clothes. We would love to stay connected, if you haven’t already done so please fill out the opt in box for my upcoming “Life’s Lessons” forum …Love to have you share some of your experiences in helping this generation raise the bar. All the best. ~Becky …and Scott too!
What an awesome Dad!
I gently disagree.
You can try to control your kids. Force them to make the choices you want them to make.
You can try to manipulate them into seeing things your way (what you did here).
Or you can teach them that there are natural consequences for their choices, and then allow them to make their own mistakes. Lots of really cool cognitive neuroscience shows that we learn more from our mistakes than we do from our successes.
More importantly, you can truly show your daughter that you love her by listening to her heart. Create a climate of unconditional love and trust (this requires a lot more time and patience than coming up with your next clever manipulation to reassert your dominance and power over your child), and truly hear her when she finally tells you the real reasons why she dresses the way she does.
You missed an opportunity, Dad. You may think you won a battle, but in the scheme of eternal relationships, you lost ground.
From: mother of five grown daughters, who bring so much utter joy into my life that I honestly don’t notice their shorts. I’m pretty sure they’re modest, though.
Children are not adults. They need guidance. If you see your toddler going towards fire will you sit there and allow them to ‘make their own mistakes’? They don’t know better that is why you are in their lives. It is folly to place ‘trust’ in a teenager who is immature and making decisions that are clearly based on what the social media has convinced them is the way to go. Your duty as a parent is to place boundaries in their lives so they would grow to be responsible adults.
Debbie, if you are actually having difficulty distinguishing between a toddler and a 19-year-old girl; or distinguishing between wearing certain attire and going towards fire, then this response isn’t for you.
I agree that children need guidance. Hence the pre-cursor to “make their own mistakes” is “teach them natural consequences”. If a parent begins teaching natural consequences at an early age, then by the time their child is 19 years old, they won’t need to resort to ‘clever’ manipulations to get their point across. They will know how to communicate with one another at a heart level.
My point is: when parents turn parenting into a battle ground, it is more about the parent than it is about truly having joy in their child.
How about this: in the War in Heaven, whose plan was it to force (includes manipulate) the children to “be good”? And who was going to get the glory? Now… look at this story that has gone viral, and look how many responses are giving this Dad the “glory”. Think instead of a loving Father who would go to any lengths to bring His children Home to Him… even if they made mistakes. Think of a loving Son who set the example by going into the homes of the despised, the sinners, the publicans, the prostitutes.
Put those glasses on, and then re-read this story.
I have raised five daughters. I did make these exact same kinds of parenting mistakes at first. I realized that it was more about how I as a mother appeared (that glory thing again), and then I found a more enlightened way.
I’d love to see more parents truly have JOY in their children, instead of making it a battle ground where they think they have won if they “one-upped” them.
Peace.
Sadly, I bet this is the photo the children use for your obituary.
Hi Becky. Sadly I am sure you are right:) We would love to stay connected, if you haven’t already done so please fill out the opt in box for my upcoming “Life’s Lessons” forum …Love to have you share some of your experiences in helping this generation raise the bar. All the best. ~Becky and Scott too!
She got it. She was embarrassed to be seen with you at the end. The point was made and you taught it well. Fun story. Thanks for sharing with this old Grandma. I have something to share with my granddaughters as they prepare to go out for the evening with me and with friends.
Thanks Linda! All the best with your granddaughters. We would love to stay connected, if you haven’t already done so please fill out the opt in box for my upcoming “Life’s Lessons” forum …Love to have you share some of your parenting experiences in helping this generation raise the bar. All the best. ~Becky and Scott too!
Good for you. For our family I can tell you- I have not only done things like that- I’ve even taken a step further and used poor manners in the place where we are eating when they have used poor manners at the table.
I bought a coconut bikini and have it hanging in my closet and my kids know- if I ever pull it out it won’t be for a joke. It will be because they are dressed inappropriate and it will go on and out in public. (Gosh I hope that day never comes) Grins.
I will say though- if that had happened at our home- that our kids had not noticed because they were on the phone… and if I had been feeding animals instead of the kids because of the phone- they would have lost the phone poste haste! And it would have stayed lost for a very long time. There is NO Where my kids go that they are not able to borrow a phone from someone they know to make an emergency phone call and truly those types of emergencies rarely happen.
You are a great man and an excellent example of how to teach with kindness and calm attitude.
Haha I LOVE that! And if you ever resort to using the coconut bikini I want to hear about it! We would love to stay connected, if you haven’t already done so please fill out the opt in box for my upcoming “Life’s Lessons” forum …Love to have you share some of your parenting experiences in helping this generation raise the bar. All the best. ~Becky and Scott too!
I would like to have had a dad like you. thanks for sharing that awesome lesson. Kind regards from Colombia.
Hi Martha! Thanks for sharing your thoughts. We would love to stay connected, if you haven’t already done so please fill out the opt in box for my upcoming “Life’s Lessons” forum …Love to have you share some of your experiences in helping this generation raise the bar. All the best. ~Becky and Scott too!
As a mother of two daughters I LOVE IT! I have always told them if they ever sluffed I would put rollers in my hair, wear a bathrobe and a sign that says I am their mother and I have to babysit them to stay in school…. This is a bathrobe moment!
Ha Love it! If you ever do that please sent me a picture! We would love to stay connected, if you haven’t already done so please fill out the opt in box for my upcoming “Life’s Lessons” forum …Love to have you share some of your parenting experiences in helping this generation raise the bar. All the best. ~Becky and Scott too!
I saw the original post on Tumblr and I like your more in depth story much better! This is priceless.
You are my kind of Dad…I wish more dads were like this instead of always giving in to their daughters ( kids)…
Thanks Jane! We would love to stay connected, if you haven’t already done so please fill out the opt in box for my upcoming “Life’s Lessons” forum …Love to have you share some of your experiences in helping this generation raise the bar. All the best. ~Becky and Scott too!
Loved this! Our favorite age was “teenagerhood.” Adult kids are awesome, and we learn from ours all the time. Check out some great stories from our adult kids at mormonpanorama.com.
Love that! Thanks Dave! We would love to stay connected, if you haven’t already done so please fill out the opt in box for my upcoming “Life’s Lessons” forum …Love to have you share some of your parenting experiences in helping this generation raise the bar. All the best. ~Becky and Scott too!
you are an AWESOME Dad!!!! if only there were more out there like you!
Thank you Loree! You are AWESOME for taking the time to read our story and leave a comment! We would love to stay connected, if you haven’t already done so please fill out the opt in box for my upcoming “Life’s Lessons” forum …Love to have you share some of your experiences in helping this generation raise the bar. All the best. ~Becky and Scott too!
Scott! You are a cute dad!
Unfortunately I am one that struggles with modesty on my day to day and because of my career! But this has motivated me to do better!
Kat | poshbykat.com
Thanks Kat for your honesty! You rock! Continue to make a difference in this world. We would love to stay connected, if you haven’t already done so please fill out the opt in box for my upcoming “Life’s Lessons” forum …Love to have you share some of your experiences that would help other readers. All the best. ~Becky, … and Scott too!
Pingback: Teens, choices and dads in short shorts | Dr. Jennifer Shewmaker
cool story but, who bought her the immodest clothes in the first place?
Scissors – pants. Clothes from siblings that fit differently. My daughter is 13 and she has the same waist she had when she was 10, but she is much taller now. The same pair of “Modest” shorts when she was 10 are now “short-shorts”. She isn’t allowed to wear them outside the house, but that’s an example of how she has “short shorts”.
I love it!! Wonder if my husband would do the same?? He could wear the short shorts and tank top just like my 16 year old daughter! Thank you for being a great dad.
Absolutely BEST dad ever! Way to go – great lesson – and man was this funny! From Sparks Nevada – where you find more weirdo’s than you know what to do with!
Father of 4 daughters… loved it!!!
Can relate.
If you have a standard of modesty in your home, who is buying the short shorts? Just curious….
I just hope at the end of the night you sed the same scissors to cut up her clothes that were immodest. How did they even get in her closet? Love your boldness.
I haven’t used scissors, but have thrown away plenty of clothes….she is 19 and buys her own clothes. Forcing the issue does not always make matters better, sometimes a parent has to think out of the box to get a message across. Remind you this was not meant to go viral, it was a message that was to stay in our home as mentioned in the story.
And the point I made on a similar post above, my daughter is 13 and she has the same waist she had when she was 10, but she is much taller now. The same pair of “Modest” shorts when she was 10 are now “short-shorts”. She isn’t allowed to wear them outside the house, but that’s an example of how she has “short shorts”.
Horray for you, Scott!! We too have three sons and four daughters. One day one of our daughters was wearing a pair of very short shorts, she knew we disapproved. She came home from getting gas in the car and was disgusted and upset by something, to the point of shivering with goose bumbs. I asked what happened. Her response, “I was pumping the gas, and this gross looking old man next to me looked me up and down and said, ‘nice legs’.” That was the end of the short shorts!! Thank you gross old man, who ever you are.
Great story, great lesson, great dad. Congratulations!
What an awesome, engaged dad! Love the lesson! Love your wife for asking her to change in the first place. Good job Mom. Its hard being Mom and having a teenager.
YOU ARE AWESOME!!! Thanks so much for sharing!!!
I love this family. Love this lesson. She is going to remember it when she has daughters of her own that want to push the limits. Thanks for being a great example Scott & Becky.
Good for you. Glad to see there are still some parents willing to teach their daughters to be modest. And way to get creative, sometimes those lessons work the best!
Hey, this is your cousin with the same name. I had a few co-workers who mistakenly thought this was me. Funny. I love what you did and agree with it whole-heartedly. Keep up the good work ‘Best Dad Ever’!
This was so great. We had a good laugh and a good lesson taught. Parents like you need a high 5.
Very cool! Hopefully, you will follow up with cleaning out her closet of immodest clothing so that it won’t be an option anymore.
Kudos to you! I’m leaving this page open so I can show my kids when they get home from school. We are just a few years away from having a houseful of teenage girls. Hopefully your little lesson will be memorable enough for them that their dad won’t have to pull out the scissors and an old pair of jeans. 🙂
You are great!! If she felt ashamed of you, you feel the same when she dresses inmodesty. I raised 2 boys 2 girls, and sometimes my husband and I have to ask our teenager daughter, these days the only one at home, to go back and change. Thanks for sharing it!!
I read this on KSL and just loved it. What a great dad!!! Your daughter may not have acted like she got the lesson but one day she will let you know how your willingness to teach her through example really changed her life.
We could use more parents like you.
Good to hear the story in your words. Love that you did that and took it to the next level!
I love that you love your daughter enough to do this for her! I have a 16 year old son, whose girlfriend dresses in immodest clothing, and I feel so upset when they get together. My family has all made comments about her clothing to me and it as been a great lesson for my 14 year old. So she can see how the parents of boys feel about them wearing revealing clothing! Thank you so much!
BRAVO!!
Scott & Becky, Hello! I used to be in your Sunday School Class ages ago in the 6th Ward. I did not recognize Bro. MacIntosh by first glance, but then I watched the KSL video and your laugh was what gave you away. What a great lesson for your daughter. I still remember your SS class, it was wonderful. Hope you are well. —Lois Skoubye Hardy
Awesome! I love it! You are my hero!
Especially love the lesson of modesty, dignity and self-respect that you are teaching her. Nowadays, there is just not enough of that as girls and women walk around with very little clothing on. I really honour your assertiveness and boldness (doing what it takes!), and your deep love and caring for your children. What a beautiful message you are giving them by your actions.
Way to go scott.Your daughter will NEVER forget the awesome object lesson…..you ROCK dad.
Great lesson on modesty!!! I’m very proud of you Scott…Becky also!!
You are the COOLEST Dad ever. If only every little (and big girl) could be blessed enough to have a daddy like you that would go to these lengths to show their love, the world would be a better place.
As a former teenage girl, TRUST ME, your message may not hit home for her the way you intended this week, or next month, but she will know for a lifetime very soon about a precious man who cared enough about her to not care about anything else. My parenting hat is totally off to you!!! KUDOS!
Thank you Carolyn for your comment! We would love to stay connected, if you haven’t already done so please fill out the opt in box for my upcoming “Life’s Lessons” forum …Love to have you share some of your parenting experiences in helping this generation raise the bar. All the best. ~Becky and Scott too!
Thank you for making modesty a priority in your lives! I so appreciate parents who teach their daughters (and sons) to be modest. Our sons notice the girls who dress modest and are grateful there are some out there that do!!
Your daughter listened at the lesson you taught you that night!!
Thank you Jane for your comments! Having three sons YES I know what you mean!! We would love to stay connected, if you haven’t already done so please fill out the opt in box for my upcoming “Life’s Lessons” forum …Love to have you share some of your parenting experiences in helping this generation raise the bar. All the best. ~Becky and Scott too!
Wow Scott, your story and your wife’s Blog has made my day! Thanks for bringing out this virtue of modesty which may seem insignificant to others but is so important to those that struggle with the little things.
By the way, I haven’t seen those Mackintosh legs since your wrestling days. . . . and yes those shorts were not in style in our grade school days it’s just that our parents didn’t have enough money to go buy them for us, they were better looking with the FRAY!
Looks and sounds like You and Becky have a great family, I wouldnt expect anything but greatness from a Mackintosh.
Hi Paul! Your comment made us smile. Hope your family is doing well. Thanks for the comment. Becky…and Scott too!
Your daughter will learn with time not just that modest is hottest but also that if she dress up like a piece of meat that is how guys are going to look at her. It is sad that girls these days think that showing and exposing themselves makes them look “sexy” or trashy. Hope she gets it. I am not saying dress like a pioneer but she can totally learn to dress modest and still in fashion .
Righteous! Thanks! =)
I am guessing Utah? Arctic Circle? Spur of the moment brilliance. I do not have any daughters but I have grown sons and believe me you, the sagging was popular when my boys were in school and nothing says crack is bad when a mother sags too! (lol) We do what we have to do with flair because we care.
Awesome story! You should frame that picture and put it in the area where she dresses every day as a reminder (not that she will forget anytime soon).
I live in KC and you were just on the news! LOL
This is awesome what you did!
I started a modest clothing line.
I would LOVE it if you could share it on your page!
thank you so much!
http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/485875021/support-modest-fashions
A dad who walks it like he talks it…literally! Nicely done.
You are AWESOME for doing this!! INSPIRATIONAL!!
Awesome! Best Dad Ever!
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I like the way you made the point about the short shorts. Your daughter knows that in the future when she is asked to change and refuses there will be a price to pay whether or not she is 19. (Fear of embarrassment!) It took guts to do what you did.
One thing that I notice happening, not only in your family but in society as a whole, is if you are having family night (which is great and more families should spend time together) and your kids are too busy being somewhere else (on their phones) to not even notice you or look at you when you are talking to them, maybe the phones should be left at home. I’ve seen people in restaurants who are busy on their phones instead of talking to the people they are with and sadder still three kids walking together home from school and instead of talking to each other two of them are on the phone. People should be present to the ones that are in their presence. Oh, well, that’s just my 2 cent worth.
You did a fantastic job and deserve the recognition you are getting.
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If you have to do this again, (I hope not!) tie up the shirt so the midriff shows, and make the shorts tighter!
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You are the best Dad ever!
Your tshirt appears to be entirely accurate. Bravo, sir, bravo!
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thank you for this. My daughter has dressed this way a couple of times in public. when i threatened to do it she stopped. Although, i wouldn’t have been brave enough to do it. I was relieved she got the point. Thank you. Monday’s is our family night too! 🙂
Great parenting! Invaluable lesson! Kudos to you and your wife. You, amazingly went through it and even amped it up when you had to, and your wife was right there with you. Great job to both of you.
I am a single lady, who has no children, but worked with kids all my life. So I really laughed (I am still laughing as I write this.) when I saw this guy with an attitude. I wish more parents would do something like this.
He is cute guy so I thought he looked great, if I was his wife I’d be a little concerned he might be picked up by some “chick”. Ha, Ha, Ha Dee
Great way to handle the situation!
I love this man, I wish I had a dad like this and I wish my girls had a dad like this. Sometimes hearing it from a man makes a bigger impact.
Good job! So glad you followed all the through.
Wow! I am 32 and I could see my father trying the same thing if I was a teenager today. I remember I did have some short-shorts that I was only allowed to mow the lawn in…then the neighbor boy went looking, and mom said the shorts mysteriously were destoyed in the wash. Hmmmm?
Good parenting, and I assure you, your daughter will look back on this with undersatnding and appreciate that effort from an obviously great dad…when she’s older! 🙂
Awesome! You may have to resurrect this object lesson a few times before she caves in.
Yes. You. Are.
All I have to say is Way To Go, Dad!!! This is an awesome lesson for your daughters honestly. If anything, it probably taught her that some attention you get when you dress a certain way is not the attention you want. Hopefully the intended recipient of the shenanigans realizes this and has started to dress a little more modestly. Either way, I completely approve! LOL The pictures made my day. I have a 4 year old little girl of my own so I will definitely keep this in mind should she ever decide to try and pull the “skimpy” shorts card on me!
Just awesome parenting !!- it is unfortunate your daughter is so enthralled with attention-w*** trash like Miley Cyrus instead of taking in this http://mindybudgor.com/book-warrior-princess/ (no I don’t know her or get money or anything but read this today and was blown away!)
Way to go dad! Hoping your daughter realizes that she doesn’t have to “reveal all” to make an impression. It’s what’s on the INSIDE that really matters! Being a parent these days is NOT easy! Keep up the good work, Mom & Dad!! 🙂
Happy to see a father putting his daughter’s best interest above his pride!
You are an awesome dad. I sent this link to my son who is going through a long drawn out divorce. He has two daughters and I hope he has the nerve to do what you did when/if the time comes!
Show her this. Might make her think.
http://www.samuel-warde.com/2013/08/this-is-the-best-example-of-what-twerking-really-is/
Congrats to you for taking a stand for your daughter and putting your own vanity aside!
I wish there were more parents out there that would do this to get the point across as I shopped for my 10 year old niece this summer the shorts and other items were so skimpy under clothes covered more so I think what you did was amazing any father that would do this is good dad I THANK YOU for sharing this story and may this be a lesson for all young ladies to learn from.
This is SO hilarious-you go DAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Keep up the good work 🙂 🙂
God Bless You! I have 3 daughters and just told my husband to get ready. If any of them EVER dress inappropriately he’ll be doing the same 😉
Hey, you gotta nice pair of legs there!
I wish more parents took an interest in their kids. In this permissive society we don’t realize the dangers and pitfalls that to much freedom opens us up to experiencing.
Our society rewards shocking, vulgar, standing out, etc. Modesty sadly is rarely seen as a virtue but look at the difference between Anne Hathaway and say Christina Aguilera or Britney Spears or Lindsay Lohan. Both successful but one has maintained a liveable life while the others have suffered enormously from to much freedom. They self destructed.
There is a time to stand out and there is a time to be modest. Teaching your daughter limits to freedom will save her much suffering in her life and she will thank you later when she looks back on it.
Ahhh, my hero! Modesty is NEVER out of style… I now have a family of my own, and remember when I too was a “young” lady and committed some fashion fau pax ‘s once or twice. HOWEVER… I also remember mom on the sideline very QUICK to remind me of what was acceptable to wear and what wasn’t! Hmm, I never did quite determine how my cool 1/2-T-shirts or cool tub-tops disappeared? Thank you, Mom, you are the best!!!
I applaud you sir…I too have a daughter and i fight the same battle regularly. I certainly hope it worked for your daughter and you’ve given me a new idea – thanks!!
You are an amazing father! Thanks for the great lesson and much needed laugh at the end of a very long day.
i love this! i do think you are the best dad ever! best object lesson ever! i will have to pull a stunt like this when our young kids are teenagers! thanks for sharing such a great msg & im glad to went viral! hopefully more parents will take your example to their kids!
All this stunt did was further reinforce to your daughter(s) that women only exist for the purpose of titillating men. The mindset that women should dress modestly to deter the male gaze devalues women as human beings and strips men of their own personal responsibility. You’re setting your daughter up for a lifetime of self esteem issues by demanding that she cover herself in public. It’s no different from the people who say that rape victims — not the rapists — are the ones to blame because the way they acted or dress “enticed” their attacker.
No sleeveless tops? Are shoulders considered sexual in Utah? I know that’s the M.O. of a lot of anti-women contingents in the Middle East…
I feel sorry for your daughters. I hope they grow up to learn that they do not have to be ashamed of their bodies, and that they are free to dress however they see fit.
Finally someone on this comment thread making sense. Thank you!
My dad would do stuff like this to me when I was a kid. I did not think he was all that great at the time. I know am an ER nurse helping others. I love him very much and am thankful everyday that he did all the silly crazy things he did! I am who I am today because he did those things! What a gift you are! She is lucky to have such a wonderful dad and one day she will look back and laugh at what you did!! What a memory you two will have!!
I have 2 sons and no daughters but I A P P L A U D your husband and the message he’s sending–not only to his daughter but to all young women that they we are worthy of respect and adoration and are beautiful without wearing revealing clothes (clap, clap).
P.S.–nice legs 😉 !
I wanted to drop a note here because I thought that you (and your wife) are both inspirational. I’m a bit sad to hear that your sister didn’t seen to acknowledge it openly, but it seems like she finally got the point. I would say that it is evident that you love your kids — continue to do a fantastic job!
R.E.S.P.E.C.T all the way from Singapore.
Love the way you handled the situation!!
Best DAD Ever!
Awesome Parent! Great Life Lesson!- It so fun to see this real life story on the main MSN frontage!
I applaud you for doing this!!!
I love it! couldn’t stop laughing! The girls are blessed to have a father who cares so much. 🙂
You have my vote for best dad ever!
That was great! You are a great dad, and a great mom; a great family.
You see, the Muslims aren’t all that bad. They believe in the same thing: Modesty. I’ll be the first to say it!
I just want to thank you & say how amazing I think your lesson to Myley was. I’m 24 & work at a middle school in NH where I see kids dress inappropriate on the daily and the highschool is even worse. With what kids see in the media, whether on TV or on internet, I think kids are losing sight/ being mislead as to what is acceptable & how to respect themselves or how to portray that to others by how they present themselves. I hope that with this story going viral more parents will follow in your example. ( & hopefully some other kids will also learn from your lesson) More parents these days need to care for their kids the way you clearly love yours! 🙂 So again, thank you!
Sincerely,
Impressed & Inspired 🙂
This is SO awesome! ~I was a pretty strict parent when it came to what my daughter walked out the door wearing (fingertip rule was her least favorite as she tried to convince me she had “monkey arms”) I received more than my share of rolled eyes & even a few tears because I was “just too strict”. Not long ago I received a phone call from her. She just wanted to say, “thanks raising me the way you did & not giving in.” ~ She is now married w/ a daughter of her own. There were times that I questioned myself & nearly compromised. I’m so glad I didn’t. Keep up the great parenting. She WILL appreciate it one day! 🙂
Your story arrived in Romania too. It made my day anyways. I am a father of 2 sons and 2 daughters so this story inspired me how to act if I will have the same problems when they will be teens. God bless you!
You are a great dad!!! Wish there were more dads like you, I think it would make the world a better place. I wish I had a dad that cared that much. You are an inspiration, and in my belief more so than highly paid celebrities. Fatherhood is a very important job, not at all easy and not always appreciated I think. I applaud you!!!
I love this! You are an awesome Dad! I can’t wait until they hit the makeup stage to see what you do. Instead of their makeup you could do actual clown makeup to really get your point across.
I just got to tell you, you look great in shorts shorts! Shows off your nice legs. No need to be embarrassed My husband would look great too. He has the best man legs on the planet. By the way… we called them hot pants back in my teenage days. We had miniskirts too. They were worse than the hot pants. My poor dad… there were three of us and we all love to wear both the shorts and the miniskirts. We would have been quite amused had our dad sported a miniskirt and I am sure we would have reacted exactly as your daughter has.
Hello! I just facebooked your son. I was telling him that Yahoo has made this national news so as a precaution Myley should make her facebook private. It is public, and her age is shown as well as where she lives, and the high school she is attending. I don’t mean to scare you guys, but I wouldn’t want any perverts, or predators trying to do anything. God bless you guys. I pray that she’s learned a lesson from this – her body is not her own, it is a temple for the Lord Jesus Christ! Amen! Also, as I told her brother, Myley is absolutely stunning, and she doesn’t have to wear short shorts, or any exposing clothing for that matter. I’ll be praying for you all. Amen,
I love this! Way to go Dad…..these girls have no idea how ridiculous these teeny tiny shorts look! Thanks for the eye opener lesson and laugh!!
good for you – while I support confidence in your body at any shape & size. I don’t get the over exposure. I know a male that is a butt man – his head will spin for a good look. But way too often I have to tell him that butt belongs to a 12 or 14yr. (granted he is looking at the backside so he never sees the face). He is no child perv – but what about the guy that is…that ‘s scary.
I think you look great in those shorts! These were the fashion of Southern California in the seventies…and guys in shorts like these were THE CUTEST, the hottest!
However you try to teach your daughter to respect herself…please also teach her to disrespect those who would judge her only upon her dress…
as true as it is…it is a nasty world where people cannot dress as they wish, or as they must, without unfair judgement from others.
What an awesome way to teach a great lesson! More young girls need a dad like you. Our little boy is only 11 months old and although I hope we never have to teach any embarrasing (to us) lessons, I’m sure we will and I can only pray that we can come up with something creative like this that will get through to them.
I found this through a CNN article, and I was so impressed by the story. You both sound like great parents! My husband and I are LDS and newlyweds and we dread having to one day battle our children over living the standards. Thank you for sharing the story and being a great example to the world!
Contrary to every other comment, I want to explain to you why this is in fact an example of BAD parenting.
We all use clothing as a form of expression (sometimes they express styles and colors that we love, and sometimes they express a characteristic such as that we are confident in ourselves). Contrary to what some believe, they don’t express whether or not we want to have sexual relationships with people who see us. Similarly, our clothes don’t express our value as a person, or what we believe spiritually or religiously. I really hope that you’re open-minded enough to realize that a person isn’t necessarily shallow just because they show more skin.
I’m sure you mean to teach them that they don’t need to wear short shorts to get male attention. By your logic, they should dress modestly to avoid that. The thing is, what you should teach them is that they shouldn’t dress for male attention–because they should dress so that THEY feel good–and therefore they should wear whatever they want. If they want to wear a bin bag, then so be it. They don’t owe the anyone a duty to look a certain way.
I understand that you want to protect your daughters, but please consider what you’re implying by asking them to be “modest”:
– That women who dress “inappropriately” (according to your standards) are worth less than those who don’t & that your daughters’ appearance therefore affects their worth
– That they should dress to please others & that others’ judgment about their looks matters
– That men are beasts that can’t control themselves.
Rather than worrying about what others think about your daughters’ appearance, make sure to teach your sons not to judge girls based on their looks.
YES! Sofia, what I have also been trying to say (you said it so much better than I did).
I fear that our messages are getting lost in a sea of congratulations.
So sad.
Thank you for standing up against the tide and expressing another point of view.
You say he is teaching his daughters “that they should dress to please others & that others’ judgement about their looks matters.” If you’re being honest with yourself then, you would realize that wearing revealing clothing is dressing to please others. If you have to wear clothes like that to feel better about yourself then, you are suffering from low self-esteem. People’s judgement about how you look obviously does matter to you. I believe he is teaching his daughters the opposite of what you are implying he is teaching them.
While not all “men are beasts that can’t control themselves”, there are a large number who in fact are. Do a search of sexual predators in your area. You may be surprised by how many there are…and those are just the ones that have been caught.
HUH ?
You are confusing me, So does it matter or not what other people think the way you dress? And sexual predators go after girls who dress immodest compared to girls who dress modest ?
Not saying I agree with her but she does offer a different view..
Seems as though these parents take their guidance for parenting from the Bible. Ephesians 6:1; “children obey your parents in The Lord…” And 1 Timothy2:9-10 “I also want women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety. . . With good deeds, appropriate for women who profess to worship God.” I say this lovingly.
Thank you Sophia for saying this. I couldn’t agree more. I am not ok with this story for the same reasons.
Sofia – this guy is an awesome Dad !!! Kudos to him for choosing a creative way to teach his daughter that she has much more to offer to the world than her sexuality. I think he rocks at parenting! He’s using honesty and a sense of humour to demonstrate important lessons to his growing daughter. She will grow up to be a solid adult ….. Bravo Dad!
Yeah…put it all on the boys. Girl’s need to understand that they way they dress DOES directly influence how boys..and ALL people think of them. You cannot dress like a skank and expect to get respect. Get real. Yes…and those big tattoos on both men or women make employers in the real world away from parlors want to hire you. You may want it to be different, but get in to the real world and see that hard core is just that and what you dress like reflects what you are.
The way you dress most definitely does reflect your values, and does send a clear message to others.
“because they should dress so that THEY feel good–and therefore they should wear whatever they want.” – This is the order of the day in current society. If it feels good, it must be good for you! That’s why we have kids sitting around playing video games and balking at things like hard work and self-discipline.
Secondly, I have to call BS on people wearing clothes simply ’cause they feel good without regard to anyone else. People feel good because they look good, and they feel they look good based on what?
Feedback. From other people.
What a lot of people define as “looking good” is what’s shoveled at them by mass media. Trust me, I did not win any favors walking into high school in my t-shirt and jeans even though I was fine with my clothing choices.
A person may not be shallow by showing more skin, but they are imposing themselves on me. What if I don’t want to see that? I don’t care if you’ve got the abs of a Greek goddess and the cleavage of a fat opera singer, I’m just walking through the grocery store trying to get on with my day. I don’t want to see it!
To me, modesty is a respect thing. I respect myself enough that I don’t feel like I have to show it off to feel good about myself, and I’m respecting other people by not forcing them to see more of me than they’d like. But a polite society with consideration of other human beings would involve a lot of things that don’t feel self-gratifying, so I can see why it’s not the popular view.
First off, unless you’ve done scholarly research disproving it, I don’t think it’s yours or anyone else’s place to determine whether or not this is an example of bad parenting. Second, the fact of the matter is, clothing truly does influence the way people act, to include the person who puts the clothing on and those around them. It is not a matter of perspective or point of view, it’s fact. There’s even scholarly research to support it:
-Samantha M. Goodin, Alyssa Van Denburg, Sarah K. Murnen, Linda Smolak (2011). “Putting on” Sexiness: A Content Analysis of the Presence of Sexualizing Characteristics in Girls’ Clothing,” , Sex Roles, 65, 1-2 , 1-12.
-Schoolgirls: Young Women, Self Esteem, and the Confidence Gap, Peggy Orenstein
-American Psychological Association, Task Force on the Sexualization of Girls. (2007). Report of the APA Task Force on the Sexualization of Girls. Washington, DC: American Psychological Association. Retrieved from http://www.apa.org/pi/wpo/sexualization.html
-Gurung, R. A., & Chrouser, C. J. (2007). Predicting objectification: Do provocative clothing and observer characteristics matter? Sex Roles, 57, 91–99.
-Hebl, M. R., King, E. G., & Lin, J. (2004). The swimsuit becomes us all: Ethnicity, gender, and vulnerability to self-objectification. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 30, 1322–1331.
-Tiggemann, M., & Lacey, C. (2009). Shopping for clothes: Body satisfaction, appearance investment, and functions of clothing among female shoppers. Body Image, 6, 285–291.
Just to name a few.
I study adolescence and work a lot with teenagers. Once, while speaking to groups of adolescents, I asked for volunteers to come to the front of the classroom to try on some sample clothing I had brought. I then asked those wearing the clothing and the other teenagers in the room what they thought they should be doing in the clothing, how they felt like acting, how they felt about themselves, etc. Some who put the clothing on even behaved differently once they were changed. There was a direct correlation between the clothing selections and the thoughts and behavior expressed as a result. Clothing is a form of expression and that is exactly why we need to be selective in the messages we send to others and ourselves.
You are right in that our worth is not determined by what we wear, but sadly, how we value ourselves and how others value us often is. A person’s worth is intrinsic, not dependent on outward assessments. But, if a person’s thoughts and behaviors are swayed extrinsically, there is the danger that they never discover their intrinsic worth. This man may or may not have gone about it in the right way, however, I do believe he values his daughter’s worth. He actively tries to help her realize it as well, rather than passively sitting back and allowing her to dress in a way that minimizes the value she or others may place on her as a result. Whether or not you agree is arbitrary as long as she understands her father’s love, which in the end is the most valuable lesson a person could learn (there’s research on that too 🙂 ).
ROFL WOW! You are a rock star sir! Parenting at it’s finest.
It’s such a shame that teenagers lose their minds once the hormones kick in. I guess we all eventually catch up to them (the hormones) and even out-Thank God!
With all due respect to your wife and family…nice legs.
LOL… I thought the same thing, he can pull of the short shorts! No disrespect meant. 🙂
Just one more quick thought, if I may:
Let’s suppose that the real reason why we don’t want our daughters to wear short shorts is because we hope that others will see the True Person, and not just focus on the legs (sexual objectification).
That’s fair, right?
So we say “Daughter, I don’t want you to dress immodestly, because then other people will have a tendency to only see you as an object, and I want them to see you as a real person, with wonderful characteristics and valuable gifts”.
Good so far?
Then why do the majority of commenters here think it was a Good Thing that this Dad has now focused on his daughter’s attire? As well as on his own? So that an entire blog post is all about doing the exact thing we said we were trying to avoid doing?
What if instead — Dad — you went to your lovely 19-year-old daughter, and said to her: “Daughter, the precious gifts I see in you are… 1) Gift1, 2) Gift2, 3) Gift3… n) GiftN, and these are the things I hope everyone else in the world sees as well. When you wear short shorts, it makes it difficult for some people to see how truly lovely and wonderful and amazing you are. Not me, of course — I see these amazing gifts and they are simply stunning to me. But others might have a hard time seeing them when you wear short shorts. I hope you will consider bringing to the world your amazing wonderful self, instead of bringing to the world just one more woman dressed in the ways of the world. But if you do choose to dress in short shorts, I will still love you with a most amazing love, I will still treasure you and cherish you, and I will still do all that I can to broadcast to the entire world that my precious daughter has these awesome gifts.”
Different response, different outcome.
Your daughter might still wear short shorts. But you won’t care so much, because you will be experiencing parental love at a level you never knew existed.
Just my thoughts, based on my own personal experience. YMMV
I LOVE when parents aren’t afraid to be parents! I also love when dad’s teach their daughters how valuable they are!! Congrats!
Two questions though:
1, When she said “No”, why did you not tell her that she could not go?
2. If it’s a family outing to spend quality time, why are cell phones allowed?
Should of never gotten to that point but at least he did something. Can’t say that for most parents.
Don’t have kid because it costs $100,000 from 0 to 20 years plus college tuition is not free.
you go pops. I have 3 kids myself, step sons 15 and 17, and my daughter is a spicy 8 going on 16 already, everythings gotta be tight. Ill have to get some mini skirts ready. lol. keep at it.
Only a loving dad would do this for the sake of his daughter! Hope his daughter would understand his great love for her..
Only concerned parent would care about their children safety…sexual attack!!
Mmmm. Sexy dad. How about pictures with no shirt? And maybe the same shorts? Or just some boxer briefs?
Yes!!! I love him!!! Reminds me of when my 10 year old son thought Eminem was the coolest thing ever. I learned the lyrics to Superman and one day when I picked him up from school, I lowered the windows to the car, blasted it (not within school zone, of course), and sang (awfully rapped) it as loud as I could. He was MORTIFIED. Eminem was not so cool that day.
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I’ve only posted a comment twice ever before on the Internet, but had to comment: how awesome! From setting family guidelines as to what is appropriate or not, to handling your children gently, to family nights, to this!! How I wish I had had a childhood / teenhood like that!
Very good effort Sir. Only one thing that I want to contribute here is that “If to be naked is considered as modernization then animals should be considered as more modernized than us (Humans)”
thank you for sharing such a wonderful parenting tip.
you are now so famous, as far away as the Far East, many of us are reading about you !
You’re the parent, so you get to call the shots about how your kids dress. I also think it’s admirable that you were willing to put up with some discomfort for your kids’ sake. I will also go so far as to agree with you that dressing modestly is never a bad idea when out to dinner with one’s parents and other family.
HOWEVER. Your post implies that your daughter was wrong to wear short-shorts not because it doesn’t fit your own family rules or expectations, but because wearing short-shorts in and of itself is bad and wrong. And I don’t agree with that at all.
The comments reinforce it–and they’re filled with more overt statements such as “some attention you get when you dress a certain way is not the attention you want.” (Whoever wrote this statement, I’m not singling you out–I didn’t even look at your name. This was just a handy example.)
While it’s true that boys (of all ages) like to target girls and make comments about their bodies, that DOES NOT MEAN your daughter’s specific choice of dress is what triggers it and DOES NOT MEAN that it is HER responsibility to choose the way she dresses in order to influence the choices of others, Put simply, that is NOT her job.
Comments like these skate dangerously close to “Well, they harassed you BECAUSE you were wearing short shorts. What did you expect?” And that leads into “Well, you were raped BECAUSE of that short skirt. Admit it, you were asking for it.” And that is an incredibly disrespectful way to think about your daughter’s, or any woman’s, rights and autonomy.
I first saw your photo on Tumblr and I reblogged it because I thought you were standing up for your daughter’s right to wear short shorts. I guess I was wrong, and you actually had the opposite in mind. I know you did it to make a point about following house rules, but it also carries the connotation of public shaming. And that’s much less okay than acting silly in public to show you’re on her side.
Ultimately, the short-shorts aren’t the problem. It’s not modest clothing that will keep your daughter safe–the only thing that will do that is teaching boys and men not to assume that women’s bodies are perpetually on display FOR THEM and perpetually subject to critique or even physical contact FOR THEM.
Make whatever house rules you want, but keep in mind that your daughter, and all women, have the same amount of human rights and dignity as every other human, no matter how much of her skin you can see.
Thank you, Jill. Your position on this is very important.
Thank you for articulating it so well.
Thank you for your well spoken response.
Dear Becky and Scott the story was published in blogs all over, Scott did a brave a loving thing bold yes, but adorable too, found you here http://enewsdaily.net/scott-mackintosh-myley-mackintoshs-best-dad-ever-photos/
I think it’s awesome you did this, but I just have to ask … who buys the clothes? Who provides the cell phones? You are the parents after all.
I think it’s awesome. I laughed even harder when I realized you were LDS! lol People need more guts like that in the church. You rock! Our oldest is 13 and while her modesty isn’t an issue (yet), her attitude and rudeness is. I’ve already tried Un-orthodox methods to deal with it, since I can’t kill her.
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Saw this first on tumbler… then on facebook. Pretty sure I had shared it too… I want to say way to go. Too many girls today show way too much! I love the Best Dad Ever t-shirt too. It totally makes the outfit! Thank you for caring about your daughters and sons. Too many parents give up the fight, keep up the fight and help guide them as they are our future!
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Dude you are the Bomb! Follow through is everything! Thanks for your story and I will most definitely share with my own daughter (12) and son too! 🙂
First of all, WHO bought your daughter the short-shorts?
Second, I think ALL parents should teach their children about dressing modestly.
Thanks Dad, for setting an example to your children!!!!
I know how it feels NOT to be accepted by your dad, to get a dirty look instead of a smile.
now 7 years later I don’t talk to my parents at all.
lol.. love it. Keep caring for your kids. Some day they will recognized for what it really is.
And, you were just profiled in The Ottawa Sun online edition up here in the great white north! What a way to become famous!
It’s sad to see many posts of folks who comment about expression of individuality. Wake up and read statistics of date rape. It is so much higher than one is even aware of. The reality is that hormones are the toughest to control in Jr high, high school and college age. Guys can think to themselves that they respect gals for who they are, but put a gal with short shorts in front of them and their hormones are triggered. At home they dont have the real healthy father influences or accountability and they are now faced with temptation. We as gals should care enough about what could cause a guy to feel tempted. But this is the problem, gals get so focused on themselves and don’t think of the whole picture. Shorts don’t have to be so short. Gals don’t realize the struggle it creates to guys that want to save themselves for the ONE that will be their mate for LIFE. I see the real affects it has on lives due to my line of work. People can comment with opinions but statistics and facts on the topic can not be refuted.
Funny, but nice lesson!
Midriff, NOT mid-drift. And old fashionED, not old fashion.
Good for you.
Some may agree and some may not, but guess what .. Nobody has ever come up with the last best answer to raising responsible children.
So keep your humor.
Keep your creativity.
Keep your love .
And just keep doing the best that you can.
Your kids are works of art.
Don’t anyone throw mud at them or disrespect them… No ever themselves.
M.A.Greene
If you think SHE should be ashamed of appearing in public in short shorts, why are YOU not ashamed of doing the same? Because there’s a sexist double standard going on here. Do you want a bunch of people calling you a slut for wearing short shorts? Of course not! But you think it’s OK for your daughter to be shamed for wearing them and you think she should change her wardrobe to accommodate those who want to shame her. Did YOU just invite yourself to be raped, leered at, or abused because of your short shorts? Lots of people think a woman in shorts is doing just that. Please think this through and realize how badly this “message” backfired.
My mom tried that on my sister and I once as a threat. Honestly, if she wanted to embarrass herself to no avail, that would not weigh on my conscience at all. There are such things as “dress your age” and there are times and places to wear certain attire. There is also such a thing as dressing in ways to accentuate features or draw attention to them. If she wants to dress that way, she needs to do so with the understanding of what it will mean and how others will see it, and then either be okay with it or not.
The only message this would send to me, and probably any teenager, is that her dad is going to embarrass her until she does what he wants. Maybe she sees that you care now, maybe she will see it later, but I highly doubt this lesson will have taught what you wanted or anything close to it.
In terms of rape, which people are implying is determined by how a woman dresses, statistics show it is more likely to happen to a woman by her boyfriend, a family member, a friend or an acquaintance (most likely the former three than the latter) than a stranger drooling over your ungodly revealing outfit. According to the National Institute of Justice “A study of sexual victimization of college women showed that 9 out of 10 victims knew the person who sexually victimized them. One research project found that 34 percent of women surveyed were victims of sexual coercion by a husband or intimate partner in their lifetime.” For instance, to my knowledge/what was shared with me, I know a couple of my friends have been raped under exactly these circumstances. One by her sister’s fiance, the other by her boyfriend. Rape usually isn’t random.
Most guys who lust after scantily clad women have no care for the woman/girl’s personality, beliefs, ethics, desires, dreams or goals. They are looking to simply “hit it and quit it.” And those are the kinds of guys that type of outfit will attract. All your daughter needs to know is dress according to who you would like to attract. I know several guys who find it much more attractive when women dress more modestly and find it disgusting when women dress in a way that makes them look desperate. If she wants to attract a guy who is interested in who she is, she should dress in a way that will give the a guy a chance to actually focus on who she is.
You are an awesome parent! My dad did not approve of something I wore when I was a teenager. He made me change and give the top to him which he proceeded to use the next morning to wash the trucks. I got the hint. But now as a 32 yr old mom of a preschool son and expecting our daughter in a month I completely understand the lesson my dad and you are trying to teach. Young girls do not understand the image and intended or not message it gives off, I understand now why my dad was so protective of my sisters & I. I hope one day your daughter will understand & appreciate your lesson. Keep up the great work parenting!
Awesome!
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She is a 19 year old college girl who attends school in Hawaii ??
Wow, that changed my opinion 180 ‘
Of course the main stream conservative media had this story played out that she was this 12 year old child not a grown woman.
She lives in Hawaii ? Does he regulate what she can and cant wear to the beach also?
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The word is MIDRIFF, not mid-drift.
Thank you for your courage.
A less antagonistic approach might have been to agree to let her wear the short shorts to dinner that one time but to strike an agreement that it will only be that once UNLESS she actually sees another adult dressed in shorts as short as hers at the restaurant. The appropriateness of the clothing one chooses to wear in various environments is always a consideration. The value of a human being, however, should never be based on his or her clothing. It’s instructive that in less puritanical countries like the Netherlands and France, adults tend to dress less revealingly. It’s also informative that women like Miley Cyrus and Britney Spears started off trying to pretend to be virginal Disney princesses. I’m inclined to think that the more we try to teach our daughters that sexuality is evil or that it devalues femininity, the more likely it is that they will end up twerking in public.
You wrote:
“Hi well-meaning but severely deluded dad. The perception that women should dress modestly in order to avoid rape, though understandable in the sense that it is the one shoved down our throats from day one on this earth, is so bizarre.”
In reading this blog post, I didn’t get the impression that’s what the dad was going for.
Anyway, to the dad: you are the man!
The strict and controlling dress code is a perpetuation of the idea that women need to be controlled and blamed for rape or sexual “deviancy” or whatever. It sounds like this dad is so strict about his daughters’ choice of clothes that he is not only shaming them into believing them that being sexual or feeling sexy is dirty and they should be ashamed about it, but that it is their fault if they are raped or if unwanted sexual advances are made toward them. In dressing in his short shorts he not only reinforces the idea that their bodies are shameful but also that they are “ridiculous” to even think about showing their bodies. Props to dad for wearing short shorts but the message he should be sending is that it’s okay for anyone to wear short shorts.
Just for the record I saw this on your (supposed) daughter’s tumblr and polietly commented saying that she was lucky to have a dad that was willing to go all out to teach her the lesson that you did – and I got a extremely abusive inbox telling me I had no right to tell her what to do or what to feel (with expletives added) and that I was probably a prude who thought all women were sluts who dressed as ‘fun’ as her….If that IS your daughter – maybe there’s a few more lessons in store for her.
C’mom people, seriously?
I think that the latest people who did comment here are missing (what I think) what was “Dad’s” point.
It was all about teaching VALUES to his daughter!
01 – Respect Mom, Dad, and your family – always! By thinking only of herself and her outfit, she had totally disregard for the family’s feelings as a whole.
02 – The daughter is a teenager now. When she is 21 (and older), she better understand how to dress and how to behave accordingly for each occasion she finds herself in; this world is not a “one size fits all”.
03 – One can choose to see the glass half full – parents going the distance to educate their kids, getting them ready for the real world out there, or to choose to see the glass half empty – abusive and oppressive parents who are forcing their values onto a child who wants to express her sexuality, blah.. blah… blah….
04 – Someone mentioned Miley Cyrus and Britney Spears in his/her comments. That was not strict parenting, but quite the opposite! The lack of proper parenting and allowing the media – Disney, MTV, etc. – to provide their (the media) values during the most important development phases of children/teenagers is just mind boggling to me. No wonder Madonna has had more husbands than I can count, that Justin Bieber almost passes out in every concert, etc. How about Honey Boo Boo? Does anybody want to place a bet on what her future will look like when parents take advantages of their children’s success? To me, that is a(the) parent(s) manipulating a child’s values perception as well, no different.
Kudos to you Mr. and Mrs. Mckintosh, keep up the good work!
You made it to German public broadcast TV: congrats! See http://www.tagesschau.de/schlusslicht/hoeschen100.html
Hi Becky, I typed out a heartfelt response, and then it disappeared! So, in case it shows up somewhere here twice w/o me knowing, I apologize and claim geriatric technology incompetence as my excuse! You asked for other places where your shorts story has appeared. Unfortunately, not all places are well intended, but I thought you’d like to know about this one if you don’t already. Maybe there’s a way to get it deleted. Myley and Scotts pics showed up on a homepage, and when I clicked on Myley’s, I was redirected to a page for News Asylum and a story entitled Bootie Shorts Teen. The article included several pics from Myley’s Twitter account. As a friend and someone who has protective feelings for your beautiful girl, I was so frustrated to see that her pics and story were being used for someone else’s gain. But, when I look at it from a neutral standpoint, it seems to be the next logical step in your modesty campaign. Myley has worked hard to gain a large online audience, but plenty of the people following her and encouraging the kinds of things she shares clearly don’t have her best interests in mind. The shorts are a great place to start, and the dialogue is spot on with the tried and true LDS message of Modest is Hottest, but now more emphasis needs to be put on internet safety and ‘what’s hot and what’s not’ appropriate to share on communication vehicles…like Facebook, Twitter, and the like, all of which can be hijacked for immoral and dangerous purposes by unscrupulous folks who enjoy our teen’s momentary lapses of common sense. Those images are out there to stay, to be shared by anyone who desires, and have the potential of doing much more damage than even a pair of short shorts. It will be great if the dialogue can now move forward to encourage not only modest dressing standards, but also more wholesome and modest internet posts. Twerking, strip teases, and near nudity are best left off of the internet. Period. It doesn’t take much creativity to find those things, and I’m sure Myley and Skye would prefer certain people…like me and maybe future spouses, employers, teachers, etc…not to see those kinds of things from them. They would rightly claim that it’s not my business. Well, at least it wasn’t, until the precursor to my seeing those things popped up on my screen thanks to the internet and what’s put on it. Our children and theirs face more means of getting themselves pulled down instead of being lifted up than we could ever have imagined. Love that you’ve started the dialogue. Can’t wait for it to expand. Hopefully, any creative means you have of helping children remain appropriate internet users will go viral as well! Many teens and young adults don’t realize the peril they put themselves in, and they need to hear the message until they get it. Given in a humorous and loving way, as you did with your new outfit, maybe our younger generation will even start to listen, my own children included!
Why do we think that embarrassment is the best way to teach? This happens in every elementary school and middle school across the country. I think everyone should check out this author Brene Brown. Her book about shame and vulnerability and her interview with Opera really hit home. She said, “I define connection as the energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued.” “Shame, blame, disrespect, betrayal, and the withholding of affection damage the roots from which love grows.” I understand this dad loves his family fiercely but embarrassment is not the way. My opinion like Dr. Brown’s is instilling value is the only way.
Taylor you have every right for you opinion. On the GOOD MORNING AMERICA interview segment, Michelle Gooland, PhD Clinical Psychologist said; “What this father did was creative, it was funny, it engaged the family and it engaged the teenager.” If anyone was embarrassed it was my husband and it was all done out of love. My daughter as stated on many live interviews got a good laugh and learned a great lesson – that her dad loves and cares about her enough to think out-of-the-box and make a fool of himself to get a point across. There was no “Shame, blame, disrespect, betrayal or withholding of affection” done here. Quite the contrary. Wishing you all the best Taylor. ~Becky
modest is hottest
A friend of mine sent to me a few days ago, and I only just read it. I take my hat off to your husband! Well done to him, and I completely agree with what he said about “I’m a firm believer that the way we dress sends messages about us, and it influences the way we and others act.” My mother used to tell me pretty much the same thing. The way we dress DOES influence the way we and other people act.
I’m twenty-one and if I ever attempted to wear short-shorts like that in public I think my mother would do the same as your husband! 😀
Hi Josie! Thanks for sharing! You have a good mother!:)
Perfect! One day she’ll understand … Nice dad!
Instead of teaching your daughter how to dress to be respected, you could teach her (and your sons) how to respect women disregarding what they are wearing. Did you enjoy the crowd looking and pointing at you simply because of the shorts you had on? You had to explain yourself to your friends – you still had all your education and values even if you were wearing short shorts. But, you see, young women have to go through that everyday. Instead of fitting into the pattern and stop wearing clothes you like to avoid getting in trouble, I believe they (we) should fight to make people see that it doesn’t matter what you’re wearing, your values won’t change because of that and people need to respect you and your choices.
You are not the best dad in the world, but the most sexist
I used to be more than happy to seek out this web-site.I wanted to thanks in your time for this wonderful learn!! I definitely enjoying each little little bit of it and I’ve you bookmarked to check out new stuff you blog post.
BEST DAD IN THE WORLD … OR NOT?
congratulations on your wrist firm and teach their children properly
Wow. Way to be a bully and slut-shame your own daughter. What a reprehensible excuse for parenting.
Hi Aubrie! You have every right to your opinion. If you have watched any of the live interviews with the two of them you will see she was not bullied or shamed and didn’t feel that way in the slightest. Her dad’s a funny guy so she was not all surprised that he was so creative and making his point…. it sure beats arguing about it. She definitely knows how much her dad loves her to embarrass himself out in public….which was never intended to go public.
“‘Do I let it fail or take it to the next level?’ Take it to the next level of course!”
This. 1000x this.
Enjoyed all of this and also the comments. I agree, your daughter is 19 (mine are 25, 22, and 10) and is old enough to make her own decisions…but she is still living at home. Also, who was paying for the family night out (dinner, mini-golf, ice cream)? As your “guest” for the evening, she could have shown more respect for your preferences. BTW, we also teach our daughters the value of modesty!
So funny– way to go, Dad! Sitting around with my in-laws chuckling about this story. You guys sound like great parents.
Good afternoon, I show his attitude is much posting I published in my blog, congratulations and to serve as a lesson for the new generation hehehe, hugs.
Carlos
OMG…..I love this!!! You should have gone to the mall. Question: Do you have any ideas to try and eliminate the boys from wearing those disgusting baggy, baggy pants. Great job DAD and you look pretty good in those shorts!
It’s because of people like you our kids have no morals. He should be doing anything to get his daughter’s attention not to dress inappropriately.
The decision is really unique and quite appreciable. I have never ever seen such a cool person like you. Definitely, your thinking will encourage many “dads” to take “typical action” when they will face such kind of problems :)?
Dear short shorts dad,
We came across your article on the Today Show website. We used your article to learn summarization strategies and annotation techniques. Who knew that your story would be so far reaching as to impact the learning of a 7th grade classroom in Northeast Ohio?! We loved your article. And we love your sense of style. 😉
We love that you care enough about your daughter to teach her a lesson.
Sincerely,
Mrs. Pop’s 7th grade language arts class
Thank you Mrs. Pop for your comment and for letting us be part of your 7th grade language arts class learning experience. Please tell you class hello from us. Scott and Becky
You guys are amazing! I wish I had a dad like you to teach about modesty back in the days.now after having a baby girl I want to set a good example so she wont have regrets in her life I did.My life has change so much for the best and seen pictures of me no dressing modest when I was a teen it makes sad and will destroy them so my daughter will never see how my life was.Thank you for sharing your story and setting a good example 🙂 you rock!!
Thank you Patty for your comment. Isn’t it interesting how your perspective changes when you have kids? Thank you for sharing. You are a good mom!
I love this story, it’s so funny. My dad only used ‘short shorts’ he nevr liked what he called ‘long-sleeve’ shorts 🙂 this reminded me of him
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